Review - 10,000 B.C. (2008)

Studio/Production Company: Warner Bros.
Director: Roland Emmerich
Written by: Hararld Kloser, Roland Emmerich
Rating: PG-13 for for sequences of intense action and violence.
Release Date: March 7, 2008 (theater), June 24, 4008 (DVD)
Genre: Action
Strong Points: Some fairly impressive visuals.
Weak Points: Plot is the very essence of simplicity, poorly written script, the special effects disappoint to a degree.
Technical Score: D
Artistic Score: C-
Final Score (not an average): D+
Moral Warnings: Violence throughout the film, some of which would be intense to younger viewers.


10,000 B.C. may possess the basic elements of a "fight-for-freedom" story, but its ultimate purpose is clearly to entertain, not to inspire. The problem is that the entertainment level is not high enough to carry the weight of the entire film on its shoulders. The cliches, rip-offs, and lackluster script all contribute to a very mediocre movie experience. If taken at face value, there is certainly some fun to be had, but only on rainy days when there’s really nothing better to watch.

The movie tells the story of a tribe struggling to survive at a time when their main supply of food is running desperately low. With the “white rain” (it’s called "snow," you morons) setting in and the lack of mammoth burgers glaring them in the face, the tribe must wait until the Last Great Hunt for the prophesied ‘Chosen-One-warrior’ to rise up and kill a mammoth. Hence bringing about the return of mammoth burgers. And quite possibly grandma’s home made mammoth stew.

The first twenty minutes of 10,000 B.C. feel unfocused, then half of the tribe gets kidnapped and the plot actually picks up. A select few, including the un-confident Chosen One, chase after their fellow tribesmen in an attempt to save them from their horse-riding captors. From there on out the story treads upon familiar waters to avoid sinking. Which was probably a good idea.

While the plot is decent enough, the script isn’t. The dialogue between characters feels forced. Often to the point where you start guessing how many days they put the thing together in. It’s like someone pitched them the story idea and asked them to have the script written out later that afternoon so they could start filming.

Not only is the dialogue poor, but the character development also happens to be be a far shot from mediocre. What you see is what you get. Let me save you the suspense and tell you that you’re not going to get much.

So... the script is pretty bad. “How about those special effects?!” you ask. I can honestly say that they’re better. Though... saying that isn’t saying a whole lot. Still. It’s better.

The tribesmen and their enemies have a few close encounters with some some strange creatures along the way, and the creatures all look very, very CGI. The subsequent monster-chases-human scenes are very reminiscent of the Jurassic Park films and Peter Jackson’s King Kong. Except without that darker, slightly horrific edge to them.

Despite the rip-off, the monster/creature scenes are somewhat fun. Thrilling? No. Entertaining? Yes. To a certain degree.

That’s not to say that the movie is compiled of constant action and CGI monsters. The special effects never dominate. To be honest, there was less of an emphasis on special effects than I thought there would be. 10,000 B.C. is actually somewhat balanced between plot and action. As mentioned, neither of these elements are stellar, but the balance between manages to keep the film afloat.

For a PG-13 film, 10,000 B.C. is pretty clean. There’s plenty of violence to go around, but it’s neither gruesome nor graphic. Some small amounts of blood are seen, but never in an excessive amount. There is one slightly awkward scene where a man intends to take advantage of a woman, but he is stopped before he can do anything. And considering that it takes place... you know... so long ago, there’s practically no bad language.

10,000 B.C. attempts to attract both the younger men and women with its violence for the guys and romance subplot for the girls, but with such a poor script and uninspired acting it’s really no more than a cheap thrill. A mildly entertaining but ultimately empty movie experience.

-Zak Mellgren (zak@revolve21.com)